Remember that dream I once had that Mike was the T-Rex from Toy Story and I was a velociraptor, and we were both sitting on our bed and all of a sudden he decided he wanted to eat me? Well, for those of you who have had the pleasure of hearing the whole narrative of that dream, it does, in fact, get weirder. The T-Rex dream wasn't even when I was pregnant- so if you thought that was good, just wait until you read this one.
Now, I have to preface this by telling you, Mike and I recently watched the movies Life of Pi and The Impossible. I highly, highly recommend you see The Impossible if you have not seen it yet, because it is an incredible true story of the survival of one family through the tsunami of SE Asia in 2004. I am a huge sucker for non-fiction, and this one is without a doubt a real tear-jerker, but I promise it's a good ending. We also recently visited Pioneer Village- a historical museum in Grafton, WI where Mike's Grandpa's printing press is on display. And lastly, last night when Mike cut the first slice of our anniversary cake, I dropped it in a pile of Cooper's hair leftover from when I had given him a haircut earlier, and it was COVERED in hair.
If you have seen those movies and can imagine those things, you'll see where my dream managed to draw some of its "inspiration" (aka, complete weirdness) from.
It began with Mike and I, along with his brother Billy, sister Patti, neighbor Megan, and a whole bunch of random strangers hanging out at Pioneer Village. Except instead of being in Grafton, WI, it was in the middle of a tropical cornfield in the middle of nowhere. Yes, I said tropical. As in rainbow-colored corn with big green and yellow leaves and weird animals walking around. And we're all hanging out here, when all of a sudden a huge black wave of water shows up on the horizon (cue The Impossible: The Tropical-Cornfield Pregnancy-Induced Tsunami of 2013), and it just happens to be coming right towards us. So of course, because it is my dream, everyone turns to me and asks, "What do we do?" And I hastily reply, "Run inside that barn over there!" Which is exactly what we do.
"Now what do we do? Go in the basement?" asks Billy
"Don't be ridiculous. If you go in the basement you'll just drown once the wave gets here. We're all going to die anyway, so just sit down and wait." (look how positive I am!)
So we did. And then the wave hit the barn, and everything disappears. And the next thing I know, Mike and I are hanging onto a big piece of wood floating in the ocean. And there is a big tiger swimming around us (cue Life of Pi).
Suddenly, we're washed up onto a tropical island, with a big wooden crate and inside Billy, Patti, her husband Curt, Megan, and some little kids are waiting for us. The little kids are Indian, and tell us we are on a deserted island and people who land here don't usually return home.
Great.
And here come the giant carnivorous sheep. Yes, I'm talking huge sheep with long teeth like those of alligators, and they have red lipstick on and are charging at us. They start trying to attack us, but I, being the hero of my own dream, realize that if you dislocate their jaw, they start walking in circles and can't do anything to you. So I yell this to Mike and Billy, and they start to do the same. So now we're on a deserted island with little Indian boys and carnivorous long-toothed sheep that are walking in circles. Weirded out yet? It gets better.
So here we are, hanging out in our crate with the weird sheep walking around, when Mike and Billy decide they're hungry and are going to go find food. The walk out into what looks like an old deserted field lined with lawn mowers and hundreds of Weber grills (but, this island was deserted, right?). And all of a sudden this old Neanderthal-like man runs out from nowhere in a loincloth, accompanied by a group of old wrinkled women, and picks up rocks as though to throw them at Mike and Billy.
"No! You can NOT do that!" I yelled at him.
"Oh, why not?" he asked me.
"Because it's our anniversary."
"Oh. I'm sorry about that."
So he stopped, as simple as that. And then decided to take us into his house that had 10 beds lined up on the floor, with two dressers at each end. "You can all sleep in the beds- usually the babies sleep there, but we just stick them in the dresser drawers tonight."
Oh, that sounds nice.
But it doesn't end there. Our Neanderthal host only felt it necessary that we be fed the best food there is- and for him, that was hair-filled grapefruit and hair-filled grapes. I'm taking, when you cut open the grapefruit or bite the grape, it's filled with black, gnarly hair and a little bit of fruit.
So he said to us, "You might have to pick out the hair. Some of the plants have more hair in their fruits than others."
So I, being the amazing biology major that I was, suggest, "Why don't you take the seeds from all the less-hairy plants, and plant those next season and not the super hairy plants? Then the next season the same thing. Maybe you can eventually eradicate the hairy-fruit plants." And he, being the geneticist Neanderthal that he was, thought this was a brilliant idea, and decided to reward me with a baby from one of the dressers.
And then, Cooper punched me in the face and woke me up from my lovely dream.
No, I didn't embellish. How could I? Who the heck, in their conscious, right mind, thinks up something that weird? And how on earth do I remember all that?
I can tell you, never have I had a dream as weird as I did last night. But here's to, at the very least, an interesting pregnancy. As stated in The Vivid Dreams of Pregnancy, "Typically, during the first trimester, there are a lot of dreams that contain what we call fertility imagery -- garden, fruits, flowers," says Garfield. "There are often images of water and swimming, as the womb gathers amniotic fluid." Ok, that all sounds about right. But it's still extremely weird.
I'm headed on to week 9, and I'm still waiting for that nausea to hit me like a bag of bricks. I've been extra tired lately, but I've been trying to combat it with large servings of proteins and staying active. I went swimming at the gym this morning which was incredibly refreshing, and believe that'll be my saving grace throughout this pregnancy. The water makes you feel like a feather, and yet doing laps really made my heart get going. It felt amazing! I can't wait to hang out in the pool and the ocean in just a few days. That accompanied with lots of walks with the pups, and some pregnancy yoga on the side, and I'm feeling a lot better and more energized each day.
Friday morning we leave for Florida, which will be a much-needed getaway for both of us, I know. We're both anxious to get out of Wisconsin for a bit. Our only concern was travel during the pregnancy. My sister unfortunately developed bloodclots during her pregnancies, which means I'm more at risk to develop them as well. Luckily, we have a beautiful scenic drive ahead of us, mapped out with plenty of rest stops (and potty breaks) so I can get my legs moving and blood pumping. Not to mention, we cleaned out the Corolla (something we've needed to do for probably the last year or two) so I'll have plenty of room to stretch and move around and change positions.
On our way down we'll be stopping at an old plantation house in Tennessee which has been converted into a B&B. They have champagne (for Mike) and sparkling grape juice (for me) waiting for us, along with chocolate-covered strawberries, flowers, a fruit & cheese plate, and a beautiful sunset over the Hiwasee River and Cherokee Mountains. We're so ready for the quiet of the Tennessee countryside. On our second day we'll arrive in Clearwater, where we've rented a condo for our vacation.
Yup. I'm ok with that.
Only four more days :)
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