Ninety percent of my time is now dedicated to entertaining my little wiggler, 8 percent to cleaning the house, 1.99% to job-searching (finally took my NCLEX a week ago and passed, hooray!), and that leaves... .01% for me and/or Mike. Yup, I am officially "Mom." Last week I realized I was humming "Wheels on the Bus" in the shower loooong after Jack was in bed. I have caught myself accidentally reaching for the breastmilk instead of the creamer for my morning coffee (praise God I haven't actually made that mistake... yet), and have tripped over numerous noise-maker toys just as I've put him to sleep in his crib. Yes, I am defeated. And never, ever have I been so overjoyed.
I truly have to say, this is awesome. And not just a little awesome. I'm talking spectacular. Having a little giggly chubby tiny human completely adore you is pretty much as good as it gets.
And it's also the HARDEST. THING. EVER.
From what we've been told by pretty much everyone, Mike and I have it "easy" and "shouldn't complain." Let me counter that by saying: every parent always has a right to complain. Always. This is not easy. Never, ever will being a mom or dad ever be "easy." Regardless of how "easy" you have it, I think every parent has a right to complain about poop grunts during church, milk-puddle shirt stains at the movies, baby spit-up somehow making it onto an inappropriate area of your jeans and hence looking like something else, and projectile sharts that make it to the wall 15 inches away...but who's keeping track, right? But let's be fair, these times make for incredible memories. Comparable to say, that time when my amazing husband ran me over with our Corolla. It sure as hell wasn't funny when I was lying in the ER having x-rays taken... but we both will take every opportunity to laugh about it now.
One year ago, we prayed to God he'd make it work and He did. He blessed us with the best gift we could possibly have asked for. Two lines on the peestick. Jack is perfect. He's sweet, silly, super smart, and a total looker. I could stare into his blue eyes for an hour and not even get bored. I never dreamed we'd get blessed with such a perfect little man, but we were. And now we have the terrifying joy of raising him into a good, Jesus-loving kid.
Mike and I decided to do a parent-child dedication for Jack, as it is focused on our commitment as Jack's parents to raise him in a God-loving home. We are currently in a Bible study with the other parents who are also dedicating their parenthood and children to the Lord, and I can't stress enough just how much we've already enjoyed their company and our time together. There are 3 little ones all of whom are Jack's age, another little girl who is 10 months old, and then a family with three children who are 2, 4 and 6- and this is just our group. About 50 families will be dedicating their children that day, and we couldn't be more excited. Each family has also been asked to dedicate a verse to their child's life, and Mike and I decided for Jack on Joshua 1:9-
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged. For the Lord, your God, will be with you wherever you go."
This verse in and of itself completely embodies our hopes for Jack- that he will never lose hope, will never be discouraged, that he will always remember that regardless of the circumstances or how hard it gets, God is there. Our prayer for him is that we, as his parents, are able to lay such a solid, unwavering foundation that he never feels a doubt or need to question his faith. That he finds himself comfortable and confident in the life he chooses, and that God remains his compass and his anchor throughout his journey.
We are so incredibly blessed by God to have been given such a precious gift. Jack reminds us daily just how amazing God really is. And to think He gave His own precious son for us measly sinners down here on earth... never did we ever understand just what grace this was until we had our own son. How great is His love for us.
