And today as I quietly enjoy my week off, spending time with Bean and getting some cleaning done while he naps, I have to say, God is good.
It's amazing how much life changes as he grows older. A year ago Mike and I were lying on the couch right now, watching movies by day and tip-toeing around the house at night. Bean was snuggled up on my chest and the dogs were lying under the coffee table in shell shock of the new "squeaker toy" they couldn't play with. We were exhausted, cranky, and downright miserable. But in a beautiful, what-the-hell-are-we-doing, kind of way. Nothing prepares you for parenthood.
A year later, we're no longer exhausted, and the exhaustion has been replaced by utter joy. But the beautiful what-the-hell-are-we-doing phase is still there. I'm sure it will be the rest of our lives. This child is a miracle. I watch him as he so carefully pushes the button on our tape measure to roll it back up, as he points the remote -backwards- at the tv, waiting for the magic to happen. As he picks a penny off the floor and, instead of putting it in his mouth like one would expect, he instead looks at me and holds it up- he knows he shouldn't, and wants my approval.
Mike and I spent the first year of Jack's life knowing we were going to fail, because we're human. We knew we would make mistakes, make stupid decisions, and feel like awful parents a lot of the time. And somehow, Jack is perfect. He has grown into a loving, smart, incredible little boy. A complete tribute to the power of a God so unfathomable, no one can comprehend his glorious work. We praise him every day for this beautiful child. Someday, far too soon, my little Bean will no longer be so little. So for now I'm holding on :)
